【質問 No. 24944】 英作文の添削依頼 |
zoro |
2024-06-10 06:42:32 |
先生、ご添削ありがとうございました。本日は、Do you think hateful comments on the Internet should be strictly regulated? の、添削をお願い致します。
I think hateful comments on the Internet should be strictly regulated, for the following reasons.
First, nowadays, 80 percent of <people>(→Japanese people) have their own smartphones, and they can write any messages about so-called <influencer>(→influencers) wherever they are. Once influencers do something, people start writing critical comments about them, ending up with <feeling>(→the feeling) of superiority over them. If they keep putting up <such poor>(→with such a miserable) situation, they may become sick in the form of depression and
insomnia.
Second, with the development of the Internet, most people have become able to express their <opinion>(→opinions) freely across the border. However, there are advantages and disadvantages to this advancement, which can have negative <affect to>(→effects on) it. For example, some people <are>(→may be) forced to kill themselves due to <inuendos>(→innuendos) against them.
Last, it is becoming common <that>(→for) patients <consult>(→to consult) hospital rankings on the Internet before seeking medical treatment. However, some experts have mixed feelings on this because they may not <clear>(→have a clear) picture <the>(→of the) quality of the hospital rankings. If illegal users post <on>(→削除) negative <message>(→messages), most people may believe the information.
Once influencers do something, people start writing critical comments about them, ending up with <feeling>(→a feeling) of superiority over them. (However, many influencers <are hearted>(→get hurt) <with>(→by) the offensive comments.) If they keep putting up such (comments), they may become sick in the form of depression and insomnia.
以上、よろしくお願い致します。
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【回答】
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昨日(日曜日)は、ハワイから来日中の息子の家族(4人)と共に、私と家内の両家の墓参りに、1日を費やしました。そのため、皆さんからの質問に、お答えすることができませんでした。水戸と日立の両家のお墓に行ったので、大分長い時間がかかりましたが、これで、最後のお墓参りになるかと思うと、複雑な気持ちを味わいながら、2台のタクシーに分乗して、回ってきました。私たちの直近の両親のことや、先祖のことなど、色々と息子夫婦や、孫たちにも、語りながらの、お墓参りでした。
さて、今回の英作文を拝見しました。内容はこれで良いですが、英文の改良点を修正させていただきました。ご参考になさってください。
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