【質問 No. 23876】 英作文添削のお願い |
一ノ瀬 |
2024-01-11 11:17:22 |
不十分な部分が、多く読みにくいかと思いますが、ライティングの添削をお願い致します。また、このライティングレベルですと、英検2級を取ることは、難しいでしょうか?
Topic: The most important consideration when choosing any job or career is having a high income. To what <extend>(→extent) do you agree <with>(→削除) or <disagree>(→disagree with this opinion)?
Answer: When deciding on a job or a <career>(→career,) there are a lot of important points which we have to consider such as <contents>(→the contents) of <job>(→the job), the number of off <day>(→days) and <location>(→the location of work).
Among them, this statement claims that the most important factor is <a>(→削除) high income.
I completely agree with this opinion because if we don’t have enough <money>(→money,) it will be hard for us to live a <life>(→comfortable life).
Furthermore, more and more women think that a high salary is crucial in terms of choosing <marriage>(→a marriage) partner <because>(→, because) <if having>(→if we have) a <child>(→child,) we have to <spent>(→spend) much money for <a child like(削除)> entering schools, < doing>(→receiving private) <lessons>(→in piano, for example,) <and>(→besides buying toys, when they are young children).
Also, earning a high income leads to <be>(→a good) motivation to work. It <is>(→will be) essential for us to keep a <job>(→high paying job).
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【回答】
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On the other hand, if we do not think <what we have child or wife>(→to have a wife and children), I think that it <is>(→will be) the best <to>(→for us to) do what we <want>(→really want to do) <to>(→削除). <Be>(→By) doing this, our life will be happier <more and more>(→削除).
In conclusion, I think that it is <the>(削除) most <critical>(→important) to seek a high salary when deciding <any>(on a) job or career.
One of the positive <point>(→points) is that we are able to <spent>(→spend a) great life with <family>(→our family) and also, it will be <can>(→possible to) work for a long time. However, it is <need>(→necessary) to <careful>(→be careful) not to <be illness>(→become ill) <due to work>(→by working) <hard>(too hard) <while negative emotion>(→削除).
意味がわからない箇所もあったり、添削不可能なところもあり、添削に時間がかかりました。直された英文を清書して、何度も読んでください。
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