【質問 No. 23475】 英作文の添削依頼 |
zoro |
2023-11-22 15:18:41 |
先生、前回のご添削ありがとうございました。本日は、Strict guidance should be needed. の添削をよろしくお願い致します。
1.「私は、以下の理由から、厳しい指導は必要であるべきだという意見に反対だ」
I disagree with the idea that strict guidence should be needed, for the following reasons.
2.「第1に、昔は、教師や父親が生徒や子供達を強く叩くことは当たり前だった」
Firstly, in former days, it was normal for teachers and fathers to slap their students and children.
3.「しかしながら、過去40年にわたり、私達の時代は劇的に変わった」
However, over the past 40years, our era has changed dramatically.
4.「例えば、男女均等法や虐待防止により、若者が厳しく叱られるということは、めったになくなった」
For example, it has become seldom that young people are scoled by their teachers and fathers due to the introduction of gender equality law and child abuse legislation.
5.「打たれ弱い若者に厳しい指導をする必要はない。代わりに、テクノロジーや、最新の学習ノウハウを使って、生徒を指導するべきだ」
You should not need to give harsh teaching to young people who are sensitive to criticism, instead, you should teach children with the state-of -the art technology and newest study know-how.
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【回答】
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1. I disagree with the idea that strict <guidence>(→guidance) should be needed, for the following reasons.
2. Firstly, in former days, it was normal for teachers and fathers to slap their students and children.
3. However, over the past <40years>(→40 years), our era has changed dramatically.
4. For example, it has become seldom that young people are <scoled>(→scolded) by their teachers and fathers due to the introduction of <gender equality law and>(→削除) child abuse legislation.
5. You should not need to give harsh teaching to young people who are sensitive to criticism<,>(→;) instead, you should teach children with the <state-of -the art>(→state-of-the-art) technology and newest study know-how.
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