【質問 No. 25089】 英作文の添削依頼 |
zoro |
2024-06-30 18:37:53 |
先生、いつも、ありがとうございます。先程、メールを送らせて頂きました。お手数ですが、ご確認下さい。本日は、英作文の添削をお願い致します。
課題: Should subordinates be asked to evaluate their supervisors?
I disagree with the <opinion>(→idea) that subordinates <are>(→should be) asked to evaluate their supervisors<, for the following reasons>(→削除).
First, it is becoming common that <jobseekers>(→job seekers) <consult?(→check) company rankings on the Internet before applying for <the companies>(→a company) they <are going>(→want to work for). However, some experts have mixed feelings because <they may not have a clear picture on>(→削除) the quality of the <rankings>(→rankings may not be trustworthy). If irresponsible employees <post>(→are posting) <sloppy>(→negative) messages about their <supervisors>(→companies or their supervisors), it can be difficult for <jobseekers>(→job seekers) to make a correct decision.
<Moreover>(→Second), there is a fact that bosses <outstrip>(→often outstrip) their subordinates in their <experiences>(→experience) and <knowledges>(→knowledge). Once <something troublesome>(→some trouble) <occurred>(→occurs), it is <supervisors>(the supervisors) that can deal with it without getting upset, so they should have the final say. Subordinates should not <size>(→try to size) <up>(→up with) the level of their bosses.
Last, evaluation systems can generate <rift>(→a rift) between supervisors and their subordinates, which can give <loss>(→a loss) of earnings to the companies. It is important to respect each employee, but extreme <evaluate>(→evaluation) can cause a negative impact on their relationship <on business>(→削除), which will eventually lead to <bulling>(→bullying) and depression among the <people>(→people concerned).
よろしくお願い致します。
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【回答】
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急いで書いたと思われ、内容も、英文も、だいぶ乱れています。落ち着いて、問題点を整理して、英作文をするべきです。内容は、字句に対する私の修正だけでは、十分とは言えない状態です。落ち着いて、問題点を絞って、英作文することを、心がけてください。
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