【質問 No. 25070】 英作文の添削依頼(その1) |
おまめ |
2024-06-27 06:56:39 |
いつも、お世話になっております。初めて英作文を書きました。添削をしていただけますと、幸いです。課題は、「糖質制限と、白米について」です。2回に分けて、送信いたしますので、どうぞ、よろしく、お願いいたします。
Recently, carbohydrate restriction has increasingly become a familiar term in Japan. However, it might have led to <reduction>(→the reduction) <in>(→of) the number of people who consume white rice as a traditional food. Some people believe <reducing>(→that reducing) <an>(→the) amount of carbohydrate intake <to be>(→is) healthy, while <others>(→other people) oppose that opinion, insisting that white rice is a Japanese traditional dietary culture to be preserved and carbohydrate is one of the three major important nutrients. There is still an argument whether <the carbohydrate>(→carbohydrate) restriction has positive impacts on our society or not.
For example, the doctors who disagree with the carbohydrate restriction emphasize that <Japanese>(→Japanese people) must have <ingested>(→been ingesting) carbohydrate through white rice more than necessary, reminding people that the necessary quantities of carbohydrate per day are far less than we think. Furthermore, they indicate <carbohydrates>(→that carbohydrate) <hidden>(→is hidden) in cooking ingredients which do not taste sweet <and>(→and that) <carbohydrates>(→carbohydrate is) present in unsweet drinks, such as <a milk>(→milk), which our bodies can absorb rapidly. <“Japanese>(→Japanese people) <ingest>(→are ingesting) <carbohydrates>(→carbohydrate) unconsciously every day, which is <to cause>(→the cause of) life-related diseases such as <diabetes”>(→diabetes.) They <advocated>(→are advocating) that opinion assertively. ((その2)に続きます)
|
【回答】
|
原文の方に、修正を加えさせていただきました。総じて、難しい構文の文章が多いようです。もっと、わかりやすい文構造で書くことが大事です。まるで、句読点なしの漢文でも読んでいる気分になりました。英作文は、出来るだけ易しい構文で書いてください。
| |