【質問 No. 22134】 英作文の添削依頼 |
zoro |
2023-06-13 18:25:45 |
先生、ご添削ありがとうございました。以前書いた作文で、また、直したい部分がありましたので、修正しました。恐れ入りますが、本日も、添削をよろしくお願い致します。
課題: Current education lacks adequate resources and support
1. 「私は、現在の教育は、適切な<教材>(→財源)や、支援が欠けている、という意見に<賛成>(→同意見)だ」
I agree with the <idea>(→opinion) that current <education>(→educational situation in Japan) lacks adequate resources and support, for the following reasons.
2. 「第一に、親の金銭的な問題で、大学へ進学出来ない学生がいる、という事実がある」
Firstly, there is a fact that there are students who cannot go to <universely>(→university) because of their parent's <finantial>(→financial) difficulties.
3. 「金の問題で行きたい大学へ行けないなんて、おかしな話だ」
It does not make sense that students cannot go <the university>(→to university) that they <want>(→want to go to).
4. 「学生は、大学進学のために学生支援機構から、奨学金を借りることが出来るが、借りた奨学金を返せなくなっている社会人が増えている」
Although students can borrow <a scholarship>(→money as scholarships) to go to <a collage>(→college) from <Japan>(→the Japan) Student Services Organization, the number of <workers>(→former students) <who>(→is increasing who) cannot return the money they borrowed <has been increasing>(as students).
」
5. 「親は、金銭面で子供を支える義務があるため、それを怠るべきではない<が、実は、それが現状だ>」
Parents have an obligation to support their children with <money>(→money for their children's education), <they should not shirk their responsibility>(but it is the reality, as a matter of fact).
本日もよろしくお願い致します。
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【回答】
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質問欄に、添削を施しましたが、分かりにくいと思われるので、以下に、修正版を再掲します。
1. I agree with the opinion that the current educational situation in Japan lacks adequate (financial) resources and support for its students. The reasons for my argument are as follows.
2. First, there is a fact that there are people who cannot go to university because of their parent's financial difficulties.
3. Actually, it does not make sense that people cannot go to a university that they want to go to.
4. Although students can borrow money as scholarships to go to college from the Japan Student Services Organization, the number of former students is increasing who cannot return the money they borrowed as students.
5. Parents have an obligation to support their children with money for their children's education and should not shirk their responsibility, but, as it is, it is a matter of fact.
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