【質問 No. 22076】 英作文の添削依頼 |
zoro |
2023-06-05 19:20:39 |
先生、前回のご回答ありがとうございました。久しぶりになりますが、英作文で書き直したいものがいくつかありましたので、ご添削をお願い致します。
課題: Can the efforts of current politicians change our society for the better?
1. 「私は現在の政治家の努力は、社会をより良く変えるという意見に賛成だ」
I agree with the idea that the efforts of current politicians change our society for the better, for the following reasons.
2. 「日本は災害の多い国であり、例えば、あの恐ろしい、2011年の3月11日に起きた、福島の原発事故は、たくさんの日本人の心に残っている」
Japan is a country where natural disaster occurs frequently. For example, that horrendous nuclear plant accident that occured in Fukushima prefecture on march eleven in 2011 still remains in the people's mind of Japan.
3. 「このような問題が起きた際、ある政治家は、国民の代表として、脱原発を訴えたり、今後の対策をするために、被災地の訪問をしている」
When such problem occurs, some of the politicians try to insist on shutting down nuclear power plants as a leader of people , and also they visit disaster areas to take measures for next disaster that could happen.
4. 「そのような活動は、国民の不安を取り除き、彼らの生活を向上させている」
Such their activities can relieve concerns of people, which is improving their quality of life.
これらの文章では、主張が弱いでしょうか? 内容に問題があるようでしたら、恐れ入りますが、ご指摘下さい。
本日、もよろしくお願い致します。
|
【回答】
|
課題の意味: 「現在の政治家たちの努力で、私たちの社会を、よりよいものに変えることは、できるでしょうか」
1. I agree with the <idea>(→opinion) that the efforts of current politicians <change>(→can change) our society for the better, for the following reasons.
2. Japan is a country where natural <disaster occurs>(→disasters occur) frequently. For example, that horrendous nuclear plant accident that <occured>(→occurred) in Fukushima <prefecture>(→Prefecture) on <march eleven>(→March 11) in 2011 still remains in the <people's mind of Japan>(→mind of Japanese people).
3. When such <problem occurs>(→problems occur), <some>(→many) of the politicians <try to>(→削除) insist on shutting down nuclear power plants as <a leader>(→leaders) of <people>(→Japanese people), and also they visit <disaster>(→such disaster) areas to <take>(→plan) measures for <next disaster>(→future disasters) that could <happen>(→happen any day).
4. Such <their>(→削除) <activities>(→activities of theirs) can <relieve>(→certainly relieve) concerns of people, which is <improving>(→considered to improve) their quality of life.
| |